1.Branislav Ivanovic- Shocking selection, I know. Last season he was a
defensive wonder of the football world. A giant boulder who had
stamina and guile to operate as a wingback and striker's instincts in
set pieces. The transformation to the sorry state he is suffering now
was not wholly unexpected, but the speedwith which it happened is what
is surprising.Chelseahave a policy of not holding on to players past
the age of 30, but Mourinho was adamant to keep him, rewarding himwith
vice-captainship. If you ask anybody who knows anything aboutthe EPL,
they'll almost certainly say Ivanovic should be the first to go.2.
Cesc Fabregas- Imagine you have to buy a new car that can take the
wife and the kids around. It is a car that needs to be reliable, and
youhave enough money to buy it because you are a Russian oil mogul. So
you choose to buy an AlfaRomeo from 1992. It surely must be a great
purchase! It had its glory days in the past, it has excellent
reputation, and it has wonderful flair. But it's an Alfa. And it's way
past its due date. After a one year romance it begins to disappoint
you.But it's your only car, so you suffer insilence, and remain
indignant about your investment. That is basically what Fabregas is. A
lackluster burden that Jose Mourinho chooses to keep playing, despite
him being completely impotent in every aspect of the game. The marquee
signing oflast year with the great assists has become complacent and
lazy. No pace, no defensive determination, nocreative effect. Time to
sell the Alfa. ToTurkey. Or MLS.3.Ramires- After a long battle with
injury, Ramires returned to the squad and Jose was delighted that he
"had his Ramires back." A definitive box-to-box player with
goalscoring abilities coupled with tackling back with aplomb. He hit a
howitzer against Newcastle, and as great as it was, I'd happily accept
that as a final contribution of his career in London. He was woeful
against Southampton, and the Brazilian was supposed to continue his
super-sub magic from Tyneside but failed horribly, in the most
important part of the pitch, next to the least appropriate defensive
midfielder, Fabregas.4.John Terry- Chelsea's leader, legend, and
liability. He is so committed to the club and to playingfor them as
exemplified by the embarrassing tag-along at the Champions League
final in 2012, appearing in full kit at the final whistle despite
being banned for the match. He was a stalwart last year, his
positional sense and anticipation was second to none. In the entirety
of the season he had TWO yellow cards. He got one in the first match
of this year againstSwanseafor protesting. And obviously screwed the
pooch against West Brom with a sending off. Controversial and almost
universally hated, nationally hated for sure, John Terry is a mixed
bag of good and bad. Again, I think the ride is over for him, but he
can still be useful. In the backroom, and at Cobham. Once a new center
back is bought, Jose should have "the talk" with John and say he can
either bring a neck pillow to the bench for the games, or go out
gracefully and immediately to take a background role, still teaching
the youngsters and giving coaching advice. Like they say, "Those who
cant do, teach."5.John Obi Mikel- This one is a mercy killing. He was
inches away from a move to Turkey that would have seen him get regular
playing time. A chance to play while he's still relatively young, and
a chance to express himself in ways to make Chelsea regret keeping him
in reserve for so many years. It's such a sad story of John Obi Mikel,
a dedicated, dutiful servant to the club.The man who carved out a new
temporal part of games known as "John Obi Mikel Time," when the game
needs to be shut down, usually with the win in the bag. If Abramovich
let Čech go because he earned it from his service, the same should
apply to Mikel. I think Andreas Christensen from the youth squad would
make a great successor. Just don't let him go toArsenal, he doesn't
deserve to be reviled by the Chelsea faithful.6.Loïc Remy- Ugh… I
just-… There's no reason wh-… He's so-… Just get rid of him.7. Pedro-
Playing fourth fiddle toBarcelona's front line has Pedro dealing with
repressed feelings of discontent like a man in a midlife crisis. He is
trying to make up for lost time on the bench inSpainby trying to be
the Messi of Chelsea. 28 years old, Pedrito is tired of being treated
like a kid and as a sideshow. He is snatching at shots and dawdling on
the ball with desperate faith in his impressive displays of
footballing grace. I was blown awaywith his contributions at West
Brom, a goal and an assist on a debut is a remarkable thing. His goal
was a sort of frustrated expression at Chelsea's wastefulness. Like he
wassaying, "Okay, guys. It's been twenty minutes. Let's get this show
on the road." He took the onus on himself, running through defenders
with a point to prove, and scuffing the ball into the corner. Since
then he has failed to impress. Being caught in possession, scoring
rugby tries instead of football goals, and generally displaying
symptoms of the Chelsea Plague that the rest of the squad is suffering
from. I don't think he should be sold, but he should be given a good,
hard shake, and snapped back to reality.8. Ruben Loftus-Cheek- "Drop"
is the wrong word, but "loan" is almost certainly the best course of
action fora midfielder with so much promise. Ross Barkley isn't much
older than RLC, and he is a starter for Everton, with fantastic
displays of passing range and creativity. He had to provehimself as a
younger player, but that is predicated on the manager at least
selecting him. RLC isn't gettinga look into the first team, and many
Chelsea fans see him as our savior as a fresh injection into midfield.
This lack of involvement looks to be endemic of the type of treatment
poor Obi Mikel has suffered. Either play him or loan him out to a team
where he can make an impact, Jose. He has potential not seen every
day.9. Falcao- Every hedge fund and asset manager in the world must be
equal parts jealous and impressed by Monaco for making a profit off of
a depreciating asset. He made astounding amounts of money at Man Utd,
and although he is making half the amount at Chelsea, the French
Riviera club are enjoying their cigars and martinis with a little more
relish knowing his utter failure as a footballer grates no skin off
their back. When Mourinho spoke out about how he was willing to
takethe Colombian under his wing, I bet Monaco was more than happy to
dump their lemon on him. Passing on the buy-option, he's just another
wart on the face of Chelsea that'll be gone soon. Here's to hoping the
blemish doesn't become septic.10. Diego Costa- Oh, Diego. How welove
you. We chant your name at away matches where you aren't even on the
bench. We chant your name at will, because you make us happy. You are
the quintessential bad guy who we root for. But the cost you bring
with the occasional goal is far too high. Dribbling in from the left
wing always ends in failure. Your hold-up play leads to naught. And
you punch too many people in the face too often. You have forced
Chelsea fans to defend you and the image you project on us by
association. You are no altar boy,you said it yourself, but being an
effective striker does not entail beinga sociopathic one. A great
finisher with height and strength is a wonderful asset. A violent,
ineffective, sluggish, and selfish player is a millstone.
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